Why are our families so broken? Relationships between siblings and siblings, kids and parents, spouse and spouse, etc? Because we straight up don't care about each other. We assume that since we're family, we own each other like property. So no matter how bad we may treat the other person, everything will be a-okay, hunky dory, and automatically the other person has no right to feel bad or take offense. We take advantage of each other however we can, we strain each others emotions to the full maximum to see how quickly/slowly the other can have an outburst, we don't acknowledge that we love and care about each other at the end of the day, we don't even try to maintain a healthy relationship by spending time with each other, and we only attempt to fix a relationship when things get as bad as they possibly can get.
So many parents refuse to raise their children with love, kindness, and respect throughout their lives..and then when the kid elopes with some random guy/girl who showed them some love and affection, the parents are shattered and surprised. Well, if you're a parent and you chose to make fun of your daughter's weight and how she's not pretty every chance you get, of course she'll bounce with the first guy who makes her feel special. If you make your son feel like he's less than a man because he chose to be a pediatrician and not a radiologist, and now your family's 'honor' has been crippled because you can't brag at the same level as all the other aunties/uncles/ammus in the community about your kid, you think he'll want to stick around with you? You expect to nag and hound your son for every mistake he makes in life, and he's never, ever acknowledged or made to be feel appreciated for his accomplishments, don't you think there's a reason he wants to leave the house and not come back? And yeah, he won't continue to call if all you do is hound him over the phone for those few minutes you have with him.
Are the kids actions acceptable? Of course not. Is it understandable? Sure. Parents have rights to be fulfilled obviously, but what example are you setting for your kid when you tell them to "respect your parents, beta," but you as a parent don't reciprocate that love and respect to the child? Have you thought about what message you're sending?
I know what some of you are going to say, "Nihal, you're an idiot. How could you just throw all parents underneath the bus and not talk about the kids?" Well, I'm not throwing all parents underneath the bus, just those that do things like ask religious clergy to regurgitate the "respect your parents" khutbah every Friday just so they can yell at the kid more and 'force' him to show unconditional obedience at home without being taught any Islamic mannerisms ever; which is your job as a parent. And yeah, there are those kids who are just straight up rotten and love taking advantage of the parents, but that's a different subject for a different time with different problems and solutions. I'm just sick of seeing parents more concerned about Pakistani/Egyptian politics than the psychological well-being of their kids. Trust me parents, your kid won't remember Black Ops 2 ten years from now, but they will remember those times you made them feel like BS for no reason. There WILL be resentment from them in the future if you don't show love and affection NOW. You may be working 12 hours a day to break even just to run the household, but just like you make time for your own mental clarity, do the same for your family, please.
I apologize if I've offended anyone. Just expressing what I've been feeling for quite some time now.